Grad School Decision

Did i make the right choice by going to grad school? Or maybe Norwich is just not for me? I am starting to doubt the decision that I made. I often try to bite off more than I can chew. Isn't that the attitude and demeanor of the rich and successful? I've heard a study that physical fitness is directly correlated with life success, I've never see the statistical data, however, following the logic path, it makes sense. In physical fitness, much like the life, you have to push yourself to new heights and try to feel comfortable in an uncomfortable position. I don't know, maybe Im just trying to persuade myself that i am doing the right thing and not completely wasting my money.

Today, Steve Jobs- co founder of Apple, the innovation behind the successful corporation died at the age of 56. Apple 4S came out yesterday as well- and it did not receive a positive feedback. What a traumatizing couple of days for apple. Surely, their stock had to have suffered as a result. Steve Jobs, what an amazing individual! I just watched the video of his life. what a genius, I wonder if he bit off more than he can chew, then chewed it. It really makes me re-analyze my life. I know, in comparison to my counterparts, I've experienced much more, but something is still missing. How can I make an impact on the world and be missed when I depart from this world? My current boss and I have these conversations almost on a weekly basis- what is intrinsically driving us? what makes Stephiney Happy? And it's funny, I get asked that question a lot! at work, in my personal life, by myself, by the christian community, by family and friends... the truth is I'm not too sure! I just know when I know I've made a lasting positive impact on someone's life, thats when I'm at the peak of euphoria. I am happy when i get to help... I am happy when everyone else is happy.... I am happy when I am being loved and I am loving... I am happy when I get to experience new adventures, but have a home to come back to... I am happy when I'm listening to music... I am happy when I am needed... I am happy when I succeed. 

Knowing your limit

So this was last night's WOD:

Clearly, I overestimated my own strength and now i am paying for it. I can barely move!!!

So much on my mind... Grad school, KM, translating for people, Container Management, regular work stuff, and just balancing my personal life!

Deployment is right around the corner, every day is filled with some type of training or prep for "D" day. Feeling a high level of anxiety right now. Sometimes, I dont think I know my own limits, and I overwhelm myself with tasks after tasks. Im not doing too bad at work, but I am definitely slacking on the grad school side. Spoke with my professor this morning, and he was not too happy with my participation in the class. It has just been extremely difficult to do the workload. maybe he is right, maybe I do need to reanalyze and re-prioritize. the problem right now is that I am in way too deep, and there is no way I am going to fail or quit. I will make it through this. And it should be a fun filled December!

So far, I am looking at going home to New York, then to Australia, finally New Years in Hawaii. I am looking forward to some carefree pre-deployment fun. I just need to make it past november!

Forgetful

I've heard that it usually takes 3 weeks to make a habit stick, I guess my forgetful memory didn't even allow for a second post until now. I am a bit embarrassed... My original intent of this blog was to document my platoon leader time. And here I am, almost a year after, finally catching up to writing in my blog.

My platoon leader time was a whirlwind. And I think that is even an understatement. I have currently been in my BDE position for approximately a week. I definitely need to come back and reflect while my experience is fairly still new. So be back shortly.

New Job? ugh Containers...Really?

I have been at Fort Knox for the past week attending the 3rd Expeditionary Sustainment Command's Theatre Academic Seminar (TAS). Lots of logistical knowledge, I've definitely reached information overload today (Day 4 of 5). It has been very informative and interesting, but extremely repetitive and dry. I get it... The Army sucks at managing containers, contractors basically run the show in Afghanistan, KAF smells like Poop. Fort Knox, KY was not as bad as I expected it to be. It was actually quite enjoyable. The countryside was beautiful. The picture to the right was right before lunch with all the primary staff with the exception of the COL and CSM. We were in a very cute city right by the Heaven Hills Distillery. It was a cute place, except the guy claimed that it was haunted. I dont know how I feel about that.







Inside the Heaven Hills Distillery: this is a picture of the 6th Million Barrel of bourbon. It was a commemorative barrel. I bet the bourbon from this barrel is super expensive. Bourbon is actually quite good, full of fragrance and flavor. I bought a bottle of 1792 and a little cute commemorative jar- labeled it Stephiney's Happy Medicine. tehehe. It's currently sitting on top of my dresser.

More distillery pictures... there were so many barrels there! 

Then off to Bourbon tasting!! Picture of me with the $500 bottle Bourbon that we tasted. 

A close up picture of the bottle. 

Overall, it was a pretty good trip to Fort Knox, KY. Made a lot of important contacts that I will need when I take over the Brigade's Container Management Situation. Technically, I am going to be the SPO (Support Operations) Ground Trans. I guess containers fall under that section as well. Apparently, there are currently over 92,000 containers that the government either has in detention, damaged, or just unaccounted for. there are three different types of containers- government owned (good), government leased (not so good), and commercial. the latter two are probably causing most of the problems since the army is actually renting those containers. And some of them cannot even be found, and the government is still being charged for it. jeez... Im looking forward to the challenge. I just wish my professor can understand what I am up against, and give me a little break on the papers and homework. :(

Okay, back to writing my second paper which is already 3 days late!!! ughh..... the quarrels of TDY and grad school. 

15 page procrastination

Wow, it has been a really long time since I blogged. I guess life has just been extremely busy...
I am currently in the midst of my final research paper for the first seminar at Norwich University. I cannot believe i am almost done with the first seminar. there are only 8 of these, and im almost done with one. which means a little closer to completing my Masters degree in Diplomacy. It definitely has not been an easy journey. Norwich first had me in the wrong course, and against my better judgement i decided to not dispute the mistake. Then four weeks in, they switched me into the course I actually selected at the beginning. Oh boy was that a dumb academic decision. It has been extremely difficult to catch up. It just feels like I am constantly reacting to the assignments instead of being ahead of the curve. I am currently on page 3 of 15. it is going to be a long night. I am thinking of just pulling an all nighter because i have to be at work at 6AM anyways. So... why not? okay, back to work... booo....

The High in Highlight

The irony of the whole situation is that it begins with a puff, then it leads to a soldier's life completely crumbling down. Well, maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration, but I guess it could happen. I have been a platoon leader officially for 3 months and I have been struggling to find my ground and "nitch". Regardless of all the BS I have to put up with, I do love my job! I wake up everyday excited and anxious for work and what's to come for the day-- well almost everyday. And it is all because of soldiers, they are the "high" to the highlight of my life. I mean of course you get rotten ones, but it just take a few to surprise you and completely make you forget about all the BS you have to go through.

This "high" first started when one of my E4 confided in me, and shared with me a very daunting but traumatizing event that recently occurred in his life. I mean it was something that brought a very introverted and reserved 28 year old man to tears. So I did my best to help and lent him my ears and presence. And I felt absolutely amazing to have the power and ability to actually help someone. Especially these soldiers who have given so much of themselves and their family for the country.

So tonight one of the E4 pulled me to the side and talked to me. He was not in my platoon, he was actually in the headquarters platoon. He works as a mechanic for the company. And this soldier is very interesting. He wasnt like the other e4s in the company. He is one of the hardest working soldiers in the company. And he is extremely upbeat, and sometimes even borderline having a poor military bearing upbeat. I mean dont get me wrong, he is one of the most outspoken individuals in the company as well. he speaks to almost everyone on the same level regardless of rank. and that sometimes and eventually will become a downfall for him as a leader and as a person. But you know what? I really like him. I like his boldness, his sense of justice, his perseverance, his sense of humor, and his candidness. I mean I would be more than happy to have ten soldiers exactly like him rather an extremely squared away soldier who sticks his nose where the sun dont shine. Because he provides feedback. and in order to improve upon an organization, you need that devil advocate.

So there I was 1900 in the evening, and I am still in the office working on paperwork. And I come outside and there was still one squad left in the company area standing at parade rest waiting to get released. Why didnt I know what was going on? Why didnt my NCOs inform me what was going on?